Keeping An Open Mind

I see things differently. I don’t see some cheating asshole but rather I see a man who’s been neglected and emotionally abused so long he sought some sort of solace, away from his toxic partner. I don’t see sluts. I see women who enjoy sex and embrace their sexuality and are strong enough to not give a damn what other people think about it. I don’t see desperate girls/guys posting “thirsty” statuses or pictures on facebook and instagram. I see people who may have been bullied or overlooked and just want a little validation.

I bring this up of course, to talk about myself (shocker). Despite all my bullshit and my great many, MANY flaws, I am not a misogynist. I love women, I really do. I have all their albums. I can’t think of a more complicated blend of softness and sweetness and sex appeal. Instincts to nurture and care but is totally capable of busting you up worse than any UFC fighter or half ton gorilla. I love women but I’m not a huge fan of myself. So for any girl that I’ve let down or hurt I hope this shows you that I really, truly meant it when I said that it wasn’t you, it’s me. (I know that old chestnut)

And I want all of you guys to know that I’m still tryin. I still open myself up because I would much rather feel hurt and sad after a break up, or a falling out or just plain ol unrequited feelings than feel lonely for not trying. I’d rather open myself up and risk being hurt (not promised, but risk) than stay trapped in some box in my own head wondering what if. There’s no progress there, no future.

I’m very particular ya know, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. I know a spark when I see it, and I know chemistry when I feel it. I know what it’s like to really care about someone while being totally attracted to them and just thinking it’s charming as fuck when she gives me a hard time. These aren’t things I feel often though. I date, I go out, I fuck, I laugh because I don’t want to miss any important opportunities (that’s right I am VERY thorough).

I guess what I’m saying is, don’t be afraid to open yourself up because something bad happened to you in the past. And if you mess up don’t snap on the other person. I’ve been making a lot of mistakes (again, shocker) lately more than ever. And I’ve been losing my cool and I’ve been the asshole, and it’s not something I’ve ever meant to be. Don’t be like that, when things don’t work out, thank them for the time they’ve spent with you and bow out gracefully.

Girls: prince charming is completely real, and I see him in that boy that just asked you out and you said no to because you’re still nursing a broken heart from months ago. Guys: girls aren’t going to notice you being shy at a bar or party or book store and strike up a conversation with you because she things you’re a blooming wallflower. Take a chance ya know? Show some balls, ladies show those big beautiful lady balls you keep tucked away.

I would rather trust someone and regret it than not trust them and regret it. And what’s the worse thing that can come from approaching someone you like? They say no? Guess what? You’ll never see them again. But if you don’t try you won’t see them again anyway so what really do you have to lose?

And I know that some things are more complicated than that. Trust me my love/sex life is always spiraling out of control because of some complication, I’m currently stressing myself out because of a complication that I’ve caused. But just don’t make excuses. Keep an open mind, give some things a shot.



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