Looking Back

I’m hanging out with Evon and he and I are just doing stupid things (what good could ever come of us together?) And we’re talking and I start to think back and I remember this party I went to a couple of years ago. I went with this girl who was fucking cray cray (maybe I DO have a type). I was running late and I was debating on just blowing it off because this girl hit me (in and out of the sack) broke shit, stole shit, was just a hurricane of an individual and she’s snapped on me before for being late or flaking on plans and for, ya know, not offering her MY last beer, fry, whatever.

That’s not what happened. She comes out to get me and I am honestly expecting just a plethora of curses and slaps but I don’t get that. Instead she gives me pure bliss. To this day, I have never seen ANYONE happier to see me in my entire life.

She introduces me to her friends,we drink Jameson and PBR, we dance, we make out in the kitchen when no one is looking (Pro tip: Everyone is always looking). She takes me in the back to this guy’s like mini studio I guess. And there’s a dude playing drums and a couple guys on guitars so I grab a bass and just kind of join in. We’re all screaming random freestyle lyrics. After the party we have some awesome (violence free) sex, multiple times. It was a good night.

Music and booze and sex and crazy girls. Every day is fun but every day is like edging closer and closer to a wood chipper. That girl in particular was so hot and I thought this was what I was destined for. A girl who makes every second with her feel like running into a burning building and I never know if I’m walkin back out.

I don’t miss those days. I don’t regret them. I look back on them fondly, laugh a little, get a little teary eyed, but I don’t do what other people do and sit and think back and say “those were the days.” Those were days. The days are where I’m at now. The present. I’m not smart like you guys are, I can’t think ahead and plan for the future. But that means that in my mind every second is a chance to build something new.

That’s where I’m at today. Looking back on all the cool and wild and fun things I’ve done and realizing that’s not who I am anymore. Nothing lasts forever BUT that doesn’t make it sad. It doesn’t have to be a bad thing.

So look back at all your zany adventures, your lovers, your loves, your whatever. Don’t flinch about the bad or cry about the sad and don’t weep for the good times gone. Take a second to appreciate how they’ve shaped you.

Don’t feel bad or long for old relationships. Just because it didn’t end with “Til death do you part” doesn’t mean it wasn’t a successful relationship. This is me telling you guys to grab a drink, sit back, think back on what lead you here and smile. Then get up and keep on working it baby.



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