All I really want is to help you guys have awesome relationships and sex lives. I do this by sharing my half baked (if not well thought out) wisdom and experiences. I’ve had a lot. My life is kind of skanky kind of a joke, but at least I learn lessons. Most of the time anyway. So today I wanna take some time to open your eyes to the truth about things like, open relationships and friends with benefits.
Let’s start with open relationships. I’m a hopeless and hapless romantic so monogamy is kind of my jam. That being said, I get open relationships. I really do. You and your partner are in love and happy and you want to dedicate the rest of your life to that person, BUT, they just don’t do it for you in bed, or vice versa or she wants too much sex or he doesn’t want enough sex or they don’t understand or like what turns you on, so you open it up. I actually think this is a good idea if you fall into this kind of relationship, where you’re madly in love but your private parts don’t get along so well. There’s just one key thing to understand here before you decide to do this.
It is way WAY easier for a girl to get laid than a guy. I’m sure you’re thinking, “no shit asshole, so what?” So if you’re a guy and you think you’re a stud and you think opening your relationship up will get you all the pussy, you’re probably wrong. If a girl walks into a bar, most guys will either want to or make an attempt to talk to her. If she tells them she has a boyfriend but it’s open and her partner is ok with it, most dudes won’t give a shit. If a guy walks into a bar (and he’s not famous or really, really, really, ridiculously good looking) most girls will notice, maybe think he’s cute, but that’s it. And when you open your mouth she may not be interested. And when you tell her you have a girlfriend who’s okay with you doing whatever, she probably won’t believe you, or not be into it. This is a serious pitfall that people don’t think much about. If this happens, guys, you can’t just pull the plug on your arrangement because she’s getting hers and you’re not getting any. It’s not fair. And ladies if this is the case for you, you gotta be more understanding, maybe try and introduce him to some girls who are more open and understanding or at the very least not rub his face in all the piping hot dick you’re getting on the reg.
Also, there is a real risk for one of you finding someone you like more. Doesn’t always happen. I know friends who’ve been open and happy and together for years. I also have a couple of friends who tried it and either got left, or left for someone new.
Friends with benefits: oh how sweet. There’s 2 big things to talk about here.
First and foremost all those shitty rom coms about the hot girl and sexy dude who make an agreement for no strings attached but wind up falling for each other are 100% true! That’s something to be aware of. You may not be dating, and hell you may be able to keep it 100% casual, BUT, friends with benefits means that you’re friends. You care about each other, there’s common interests. Benefits means that you’re attracted to each other and you want to, have had, and enjoy having sex with each other. Isn’t that the basis for a relationship? I’m not saying it definitely will wind up like that, but it’s more likely than not for one or both of you to develop feelings further than friendship when you’re in the throes of sexual wonder and chocolate and other sweetness thingies.
Which leads me to my second point. Friends with benefits IS a form of a relationship. I’m not saying it’s the same as a monogamous boyfriend and girlfriend thing, but it is a relationship. Deeper romantic feelings or not, you need to be courteous and respectful and understanding of your fuck buddy. So when you’re hanging out and you fuck them, don’t just leave or start scrolling through your tinder matches (I’ve seen you do it, asshole) actually hang out, wait to hit tinder date #6 up after you leave. They’re your friend who decided to be kind and grant you access to nether regions, they deserve some goddamn consideration. AND don’t hit them up after fucking 10 pm to “hang out” They are your friend, you care about them, not your booty call.